Where
Things Work RightWhere
Things Work Right
** New ideas added 11/24/08 starting at number 336.
336. Will Work For Whiskey -
An objective test.
A lot of roads in our state (Florida, US) have signs under them saying
they're maintained by "ABC Company"
to keep the state clean. It's a win-win situation, the companies
get free-advertising and the public gets clean
roadways.
This idea is a variation on that theme. Local panhandlers, and there are
quite a few of them around here, could
put in a claim for a section of road the same way that companies do.
Once a claim was granted it would be up
to, let's say Bob, to keep his paticular road and its shoulders clean.
If he asks you for some spare change when
you're stopped at a light you could take a quick look around and see if
he deserves a donation. Along with
making your city a cleaner place to live this could decrease both the cost
of keeping the roads clean for municipalities
and the number of panhandlers drivers have to deal with.
337. Where Graveyards Go To Die -
Saved from the plow.
My wife attends a church where the membership is slowly dwindling and which
will someday cease to exist if the
trend continues. The church also has a Memory Garden where the ashes
of some of its former members are buried.
If the church goes under then the property will be sold, most likely to
a commercial developer since it's in a favorable
business location, and the Memory Garden will be demolished along with
all of the buildings on the property to make
room for whatever the new owner wants to build there. This poses
a bit of a problem for me since my wife would
like to have her ashes buried there when she dies and I'd rather not end
up staring at a brand new Walmart on the
anniversary of her death (assuming she goes first). This idea is
for the creation of a public graveyard for graveyards
where Memory Gardens (and the like) can be moved to when their former owners
can no longer maintain them. That
way the survivors and descendants would have a suitable place to go to
when they wanted to sit down and quietly
remember someone.
338. "Take Your Chances" Bridge -
Assume the materials are up to the task.
This would be a 5 or 6 foot wide walkway running from one side of the Grand
Canyon to the other. A helium-filled,
rectangular-shaped balloon, made out of the same material that zeppelins
are made out of, would hold up each twenty
foot section of the bridge. The balloons would be weighted at the
bottom to keep the bridge from completely flipping
over. There would be handrails on both sides. People who wanted
to cross it would be given a harness and pair of
carabiners so they could attach themselves to whichever handrail they
chose. (The reason for having a pair of carabiners
is so they could clip themselves to the next section before unclipping
themselves from the current section.). Given a
good stiff breeze this could make for a memorable stroll.
Addendum: The amount of helium could be fluctuated so you'd be walking
slightly downhill in both directions (the slope
would be changed midday).
339. Self-Changing Lightbulbs -
Because changing outdoor lights is always a pain.
This idea is for a lightbulb that has a tiny Ferris Wheel of tungsten filaments
in it. When one filament burned out then the
bulb, sensing the connection had been broken, would simply turn the wheel
until the next filament on the wheel was
connected. I'd still have to change the bulbs but much less often
(10 times less frequently if there were 10 filaments on
the wheel). This arrangement would also avoid the disposal problem
posed by the newest generation of long-lasting bulbs.
Note: The electricity supplied to the bulb is what would also be used to
turn the wheel when required.
340. Mixed Martial Arts Rugby -
A rougher game of football.
This would combine the basic rules of rugby with the more primitive rules
of mixed martial arts tournaments. Basically
the teams would be able to kick the crap out of each other on their way
towards scoring a goal. It wouldn't be a game
lacking any element of strategy though. For instance, each team would
have to decide whether to keep all of their
players concentrating on moving the ball or give some of them the task
of trying to put opposing players into submission
holds (which would remove those who submitted from the field and give the
team who won the submission a numbers
advantage).
341. I Meant What I Didn't Mean -
Contradiction hunting computer program.
In order for this idea to work a computer program would have to be written
that could distinguish between two
contradictory concepts. No small task, but if it could be done then
religious, philosophical or political texts could be
run through it to see if there were contradictions that weren't easy to
spot. Using the Old Testament in the Bible for
instance (and an easy contradiction to spot), it would flag the two commandments
- 'Remember to Keep Holy the
Lords Day' and 'Thou Shalt Not Kill' - as contradictory based on the follow-up
punishment it also required for
disobeying the former - stoning. (Of course this wouldn't be a true
contradiction if you were only supposed to
'wing' whoever wasn't keeping the day holy when you flung the stones at
them).
Quantum Deathmatch - P vs NP Problems
342. Accent to Accent Translator -
To make your accent fit the situation.
This would simply convert the exact same words you say into the accent
of your choice. For instance, if you
wanted to sound romantic you could flip the translator to French.
If you wanted to sound smart you could flip it
to British. If you wanted to sound dangerous you could flip it to
Mafia. If you wanted to sound southern US
you could flip it to redneck. I'm not sure they'd be a pirate setting
but it would be nice if there was. (These are
all stereotypes of course but they make the point.) If you wanted
to sound just plain out weird you could switch
it to the opposite gender.
343. Empty Aisle Indicator -
Or a counter showing how many people are in the aisle.
This usually happens when I find myself at the back of the store, my cart
is full, and I'm ready to checkout. For
some reason whichever aisle I pick to head towards the checkout lanes tends
to be filled with slow-moving shoppers
who've parked their carts side-by side forcing me to wait or pick another
aisle. It shouldn't be too hard to create
an overhead counter showing how many people/carts are in each aisle.
It would even make everyone's shopping
faster since they could arrange their routes according to the emptiest
aisles. The advantage to the stores would come
in a smoother and faster flow, making the shopping experience a little
more pleasant (and keep frustrated people from
leaving their cart where it is and just walking out).
344. I'd Rather Not Crash -
Our company's new parking garage lacks empathy.
Once upon a time our company had a good parking garage. That was
way back about two weeks ago. In order
to make room for another building they tore that one down and put up a
brand new one that must have been designed
more to park pedestrians than to park cars. Each space has less than
a foot of clearance on either side, every possible
spot was given a space (including the ramps themselves right up to the
edge of the 180 degree turn you have to make
to continue going up the ramps), and there's almost not enough room on
the ramps for two cars to pass going in
opposite directions. In short, there's going to be a hell of a lot of accidents
in this thing.
One fix they could make retroactively would take care of the situation
where the drivers of small cars parked between
big SUVs have to hope the gods are with them when they blindly back out
of their spot and onto the ramp. All the
company has to do is add 3 rows of lights, one on each side of the ramps
and one running down the center of the ceiling.
As cars went up or down the ramps sensors would turn on the lights several
feet in front of them, marching ahead to warn
other drivers that the gods would like them to wait an extra minute before
exiting.
345. Shooting Star Finder -
Know where to look.
One night my wife and I were standing out on an overlook at the Grand Canyon
waiting to see a shooting star (that was
one of the things on her bucket list). We saw one after a few minutes
but I've got a feeling we would have seen one a
whole lot quicker if we knew which part of the night sky we should be staring
at. This idea is for a handheld GPS device
linked to an observatory that would pass the information from the observatory
to your location and tell you where to look.
Kids would probably get a kick out of taking one of these along on a camping
trip too - they tend to get bored quickly
when looking at the night sky. As a bonus the device could also flag other
objects moving across the night sky and tell you
what they are (satellites, the space shuttle, UFOs...).
 |